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Dirty Potter and the Deathly Farts
Dirty Potter and the Deathly Farts (a.k.a. Dirty Potter 2) is the second audiobook made by Dirty Potter. Transcript (Cumming noises, slowly becoming louder) Skeet (more cumming noises, "oohh!"). Listening Library presents, Dirty Potter and the Deathly Farts by J.K. Rowling. Read for you by Jim Dale, (skeet noises in time with last two notes of intro) HAHA!! Harry's butthole was becoming more and more painful. Skeet oozed out of the brown butthole. There were several frantic mice trapped inside it. "Ouch, ooh!" he said. He stood up. "Back in a minute...er...bathroom". Harry hurried up the stairs to the hall, where he dashed into the bathroom and bolted the door again. Grunting with pain, he slumped over the black toilet. "OOOHH, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, arse, cocks!" said Harry. His arse exploded foamy-brown butt-potion into the toilet (grunting and shitting noises). Fabulous poo spurted everywhere and Harry felt hugely relieved. Harry bent forward, took a deep breath and plunged his face into the toilet and it was blissful oblivion, better than September 11th (evil-sounding chuckle). Hermione said, very fast, "Harry? Harry!" Hermione was pounding on the door. He opened his eyes, shit coming thick and fast. His hands jerked upward to cover his mouth. Harry started vomiting so hard, that he did not even notice as Hermione was pounding on the door again. "Harry, open up!" "(Retch) No, (retch) no!" He choked and retched as he splattered the bathroom with some flying chunks of vomit. He got up and unbolted the door. Hermione toppled inside at once. She looked quite demented and looked around, suspiciously. The bathroom was full of great lumps of POO. Gigantic shitpiles everywhere. They looked like gingerbread houses. The bathroom smelled bad. Ron was right behind Hermione, jerking off furiously. "I'm doing it, I'm doing-, ooh, ooh, OOOOHHH, fuck, (grunting and cumming noises)". Ron's cock exploded thick, white CUMMM into his mouth and swallowed it (swallowing noises). He did not want to let his skeet spill out at her naked arse, but it was hard to keep his big erection. "Golden shower!" screamed Hermione and a jet of water streamed from her cunt, engulfing a spluttering and choking Harry Potter, hehehehe!! "More?" said Hermione. "Yeah, it was hot!" said Ron, who was evidently aroused. Hermione whizzed over them, causing both Harry and Ron to CUMMM everywhere. "Oh yeah, (grunt, cumming noises)". "I love you, Hermione" said Ron, sinking back into his chair, rubbing his bag. "What were you doing?" asked Hermione, sternly. "What do you think I was doing?" asked Harry, with a trickle of poo. "You were yelling your head off!" said Ron. Harry did not want to drop mud upon the carpet. "Oh, yeah, I must've dozed off or...jack it (jerking noises)". There was a horrible swelling so that it was larger than ever. "Oh, I'm cumming!" said Harry (grunt, cumming noises). Thick, white cum spurted everywhere. "Good game, Harry" gasped Hermione. "Harry, please finger me," said Hermione, taking deep breaths, "we know your butthole hurt downstairs and you're drenched in wet poo. It was hot." He could sense Hermione's excitement too. "Fine". Harry sat down on the edge of the bath. Beneath the robe, he fingered Hermione. "C-crabs!" shouted Harry and pushed the brown out of his arse. "Give it, give it, give it, give it, yeah! Skeet, skeet, skeet, skeet, skeet". Hermione was biting her lip. "Oh, oh, give it, yeah!" said Hermione and the cum flew out (groan, cumming noises). Harry bent forward, took a deep breath and plunged his face into the silvery substance and it was blissful oblivion, better than large white roses in their buttholes. "Can you feel it, though?" Ron asked in a hushed voice, as he held it tight in his clenched fist, "It went inside me. I could feel it, it was hot!" Hermione was bleeding. Much gulping of CUUUUUMMM, Harry strolled downstairs, naked. The side of his head and neck were drenched in wet poo. He was digging his fingers into his arse as if he was trying to find something for breakfast. He pulled the pieces of brown poo out of his arse and, without looking at them, tucked them away in Hagrid's mouth. "(Spluttering noises) Oi!" said Hagrid, indignantly. There was silence as Hagrid digested this poo. Ron laughed. Harry fiddled aimlessly with his chink cock (cumming noises). Harry sat down and took a sumptuous dung heap on his uncle, where Hagrid was still attempting to ease his pulsating cock through Harry's back door. His cock was large. "What the fuck?" shouted Harry, jerking off Hagrid's huge, hairy, fucking cock. Harry's hot arse was now too full of cock to take any more. Harry was bleeding. It felt wonderful. There was a brief silence, in which the distant echo of Hagrid's big, sumptuous cock smashing down a wooden front door seemed to reverberate through his arse, causing both Harry and Ron to gag on their cocks. He had spilled his own cum more times than he could count. Harry's large, purple cock was cumming (cumming noises). Hot and wet skeet was trickling down his chin and from Dumbledore's body. (Skeet noises, in time with the music) Hello, this is Jim Dale. I hope you have enjoyed this unabridged Listening Library production of Dirty Potter and the Cum Farts by J.K. Rowling. She smelled bad. As you know, audiobooks kill Dumbledore and are a wonderful way to get excited when your hands are busy jerking off the gays listening to Dirty Potter. But have you ever considered Dirty Potter being good for you?...(yeah). Most of us know from first-hand experience just how beneficial it is to jack it to the children in our lives. I feel that little boy. Listening to Dirty Potter helps children build vocabulary, improve their reading skills, fart nuts-gook-nigger-cocks-buttholes, cum and succeed more readily in school. Now, I can't read. HAHA!! Harry Potter, hehehehe! P-p-p-p-p-pineapple, pineapple, pineapple, fucking pineapple (yeah). Being read to is an important step on the road to becoming a good HOUSE ELF and one of the best ways to ensure a lifelong love of buttholes. 'Scuse me, mate, can you take your bum out of my face? Umm...um, um, bu-bu-bu, umm, and erm...uh, I just...cum. Sometime your mouth is full of cum. Now, I can't read. But few of us have all the time we would like to swim in Dumbledore's sumptuous custard. Wheeeee, God, that's revolting! That's where Dirty Potter can help (skeet, skeet). Instead of letting a child turn on the television or pop in a gook video game, try pressing 'gay' and engaging them in a good CUUUUUMMM. Listening to Dirty Potter has the same educational value as two enormous shitpiles (I can't even read the book) and they are great entertainment for trips in the Hippogriff Fuckbeak at home when no one is available to give it to them. A wide range of niggers guaranteed to smell bad to children of 10 years old. So, the next time you're, consider, considering what, consider, to listen to, why not, consider, considering something for the gays in your life. (Groaning, slowly raising in pitch, and cumming noises) Long live Dirty Potter! "But it was supposed to have sopped," said J.K. Rowling, "it wasn't supposed to do this anymore!" "HAHA! Fuck J.K. Rowling" said Jim Dale...(yeah). Category:Dirty Potter Category:Audiobooks